Losing What I Count On

Music and singing have always been a large part of my identity.  I've been singing all my life, from singing with the radio, singing at school plays, singing for relatives, being a cantor in the church where I grew up, singing in choirs and bands, and just singing with friends.  Music touches my soul and singing is a way of expressing my soul.  I've been very lucky because singing has always come easily to me and people have always enjoyed listening.  Until recently, my singing voice was the one thing in my life I could always count on.

Slowly, over the past year or more, I've developed a tremor in my singing voice that prevents me from singing higher notes.  It started out as a rare occurrence and has slowly become more frequent.  It has been very embarrassing for me and I have tried to hide it as much as possible.  For a few years, I have been working on my voice with a teacher, and she and I have been working on this tremor for quite a while now without a lot of success.  As I continue to sing and continue to experience this block, I have become more and more frustrated and afraid, afraid that people would notice and afraid that this would be a permanent change in my voice that would eventually prevent me from singing altogether.

When one loses control over something in which they had held complete confidence, it can feel like the world is falling apart.  This can happen with many transitions in life, whether they be times of celebration or sorrow: the birth of a baby, a move, losing or changing a job, loss of a loved one, etc.  Moving from a place of certainly to uncertainty is a time of great stress for many.  

The church I serve has been doing a lot of talking recently about their future and how they might adapt to the changing world surrounding them.  For many, this is a scary time.  Their faith community is one of security and stability, a place where they can go for comfort and support.  When changes happen, this secure place can become one of uncertainty and disruption.  

A change in belief systems can have the same effect.  For some, their faith, their belief systems, are a rock under their feet, sturdy, unchanging, and unshifting.  So when those beliefs are threatened, the rock become a fortress of protection.  And when a crisis in life causes one to question those beliefs or doubt what has always been true, the underlying rock becomes quicksand, shifting, changing, and possibly trying to swallow up and choke that faith until it disappears.  For many, their faith is part of their identity, a part of their lives, the one thing on which they can count and rely, so this can be time of trauma, embarrassment, frustration, and fear.

One thing I have learned over and over again is that I can't live in the past.  This applies to the changes in my voice as well.  I can't go back to how my voice was before.  I have learned a lot through my lessons about my voice and about singing and my voice is growing and changing because of it.  I've also learned that I need to let go.  Because I am afraid of embarrassment and because I am feeling afraid that this change in my voice is permanent, I have approached my singing with trepidation and have been afraid to express my soul in my singing.  

I have to move forward.  I have to take what I have learned and apply it with confidence.  I need to reach deep into that place within that loves to sing, and try to move past the embarrassment and fear.  "Do not be afraid," as we are told over and over again in our scriptures, as we hear during the Christmas season when angels approached Mary and Joseph and the shepherds.   Easier said than done, but we can't live in our past and hold stubbornly to the way we've always done things, let fear keep us from moving forward.  If we can find the determination to more forward, we can allow our experiences to change us, transform us, help us to grow as human beings in relationship with others and with the Holy.  This might mean the ground beneath our feet feels a little shaky at times, but instead of an unchanging rock, we'll have layers beneath us that help root us and ground us and perhaps make us stronger in times of uncertainty and crisis.  

The loss of my singing voice still scares me.  It is a large part of who I am, but it's not all of who I am.  My voice is used for much more than singing.  I use it for preaching, for storytelling, for offering kind words, for laughing, and for conversations.  These are the many layers of my voice, and although my singing feels awfully shaky right now, these other layers will help keep my strong.

Being open to change, being open to new ideas, and being open to differences, keeps my faith growing and keeps it from being fixed and even a bit shaky.  It's ever-changing, ever-growing, and ever-evolving with my own life journey and with those around me.  May it always be so.  Amen.

Judas: Evil or a Fulfillment of Scripture

The third of four sermons picked "out of a hat," suggestions offered by the congregation.  This topic, "Judas - Was he evil or fulfilling scripture?" was based on scripture passages from the 14th chapter of the gospel of Mark, verses 1-2, 10-11, 17-21, 32a, and 43b-50.  It was delivered on August 6, 2017

Before you read this, you might want to watch a clip from Jesus Christ Superstar, an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical based on the life and death of Jesus. This clip show Judas, after Jesus is arrested, after Judas has betrayed Jesus to the authorities.  https://youtu.be/kM-gnLRLPdw

“My mind is in darkness,” ssys Judas (in the movie clip).  “My God, I am sick.  I’ve been used.  I’ll never know why you chose me for your crime.” 

Judas: A tragic figure or an evil one? An enigma or simply following his destiny?  Some dismiss him, while others see him as a mystery to solve.  How Judas is portrayed sometimes depends on your theology of God and Jesus.  If you are someone who believes that Jesus was put on this earth to die on a cross, in forgiveness of our sins, then you will see the events leading up to his death as preordained, as willed by God.  If you are someone who believes Jesus was put to death because of his actions, not by God but by Rome, you might see the events leading to his death as the decisions and actions of a broken people, people who made bad choices.  

Why this fascination with Judas?  Why not Peter, who, after the arrest of Jesus,  denied him, pretending he didn’t know him.  What about the other disciples who abandoned Jesus, who hid while Jesus was condemned and then crucified?  Aren’t they all culpable in some way of betraying their friend, this man they had followed for three years, who had all been part of an intimate group, who lived together on the road, followers of Jesus who ate with him, walked with him, questioned him, and imitated him.  Aren’t they all guilty of betraying their friend?

The gospels barely even mention Judas throughout their narratives.  When he is first introduced, he is labeled as the one who would betray Jesus, but we don’t hear much about him again until their final trip to Jerusalem.  At that time, the Jewish authorities are looking for a way to arrest Jesus without inciting the crowd.  They need an out-of-the-way place, where they can arrest him in secret and Judas provides them with the information they need.  We also know Judas was at the Last Supper and that Jesus foretold his betrayal.  We know it was Judas who brought the authorities to the garden and pointed him out to the soldiers by kissing Jesus.  There are only vague suggestions of his motive.

Why would someone betray Jesus?  Why would Judas, who was supposedly a friend of Jesus, part of this inner circle of twelve, turn in Jesus to the authorities?  Did Judas know that Jesus was the Son of God?  Did he know he was betraying the Messiah, the one who would save them all?  Was he fulfilling some destiny; was he only a pawn is this story?  Some have called him guilty, as a greedy carrier of the purse, in it for the 30 pieces of silver.  Others have suggested that he was only following his destiny, what God had called him to do, in order to fulfill God’s plan, obeying God, or, some would say, obeying Satan.

Some gospel verses state that his actions fulfilled scripture.  For ages, Christians have professed that the Hebrew scriptures foretold future events, specifically around Jesus and his life, but in some ways, saying the Hebrew Scriptures are predictions of the future, dismisses it as a text in and of itself, a text that is studied and revered in Judaism.  I read somewhere that the meaning of scripture being fulfilled is not that a foreseen future event has taken place, but that an earlier statement has been recognized to have a fuller and deeper meaning in light of later events.

As you are hearing, I don’t have many answers, only questions.  I can only theorize, guess, and wonder at this story and the part Judas played in it.  But again, why does he fascinate us?  What is it about his role in the death of Jesus that makes us demonize him or sympathize with him?  

Usually it’s the other eleven disciples with whom we connect more willingly.  They are us; we are them.  We can put ourselves in their shoes as we talk about our own journey of following Jesus, the mistakes we make, our arrogance, our ignorance, our daily struggles of following Jesus.  Peter is usually the one to whom we refer the most.  He seems to be the one who had a unique and close relationship with Jesus, but one of the reasons I like the movie, Jesus Christ Superstar, is because we see a special relationship between Jesus and Judas.  You can tell throughout the movie that Jesus loves Judas and that Judas loves Jesus but that they are ideologically different and butt heads throughout the movie.  Judas struggles to understand Jesus, his words, his actions, and his motives, as we, the viewers, also struggle to understand. 

Judas gives us a different perspective.  You see, this was a dangerous time for the Jewish people.  Their land was occupied by the Romans.  There had been rebellions in the past.  Rome had put down those rebellions, with brutal violence and crucified many for their treason against Rome.  John the Baptist had been recently beheaded for his words against Herod.  The Jewish authorities were being very careful to keep things quiet, to keep the Romans happy.  Jesus was stirring things up again.  He was giving people hope of a new world, a new kingdom.  Thousands were following and listening to him.  Coming into Jerusalem for the Passover event saw him being treated like a king with people waving palm branches and shouting Hosanna, save us.  What if Judas thought he was doing the right thing?  What if Judas thought he was protecting the people, keeping them safe from the violence of Rome?  Maybe he even thought he was protecting Jesus and his friends.

In Matthew’s gospel, Judas, after hearing that his friend was condemned to death, immediately feels regret and remorse.  Maybe he didn’t understand the ultimate consequences of his actions?  After all, Jesus had not incited violence.  How could them convict him?  Maybe Judas thought Jesus would be imprisoned instead.  Whatever he thought, he was wrong.  Judas threw the 30 pieces of silver back and he later killed himself because he couldn’t live with what he had done.

Last week we talked about forgiveness and, in a way, this week we take one step back to talk about those choices we make for which we ask forgiveness.  Are we curious about Judas because we wonder if we are like him?  Some of us can say that we have betrayed a friend.  Some of us, because of our actions, have caused someone to be accused.  Some of us are living with choices that we regret and decisions we would like to take back.  Some of us have acted with the best of intentions, only to have things fall apart around us.

I don’t believe in evil people.  I know there is evil in this world and I know people create much of this evil, but I don’t believe there are evil people.  I sympathize with Judas.  He let down his friends, he let down his rabbi, Jesus, and he let down himself.  Like many tragic figures in stories, he is remembered for his mistakes and for his flaws.  

Maybe if Judas had repented, had apologized, begged for forgiveness, and then changed his life, maybe become an apostle, evangelizing and spreading the good news of Jesus, he’d be remembered differently.  After all, Peter denied Jesus, turned his back on his friend and teacher, but is remembered today as the rock of the church.  Peter stuck around to have breakfast on the beach with the resurrected Jesus, was able to confront his mistakes, move past them, and spread the gospel.  Who’s to say Judas couldn’t have also done this.

These are only my reflections.  There are many different viewpoints and I’m sure there are many theological discourses on Judas, but I chose today to share with you my thoughts and my own wonderings.  I invite you to continue the conversation.  This story is a part of our bible and a part of our faith story but it is also a very human story, a story of struggle and hardship, a story of disappointment and shame.  

I don’t believe any person is evil.  I believe we are all children of God and filled with God’s Spirit.  We all make mistakes, we all have regrets, and we all live with those but hopefully let our pasts transform our current lives as we strive to bring God’s kingdom here on earth.  May it be so.  Amen.

The Kiss by Joe Niemand - https://youtu.be/k88Y8VGs7dY

Meet me in the garden,
my love.
Meet me there at midnight.

At the place only we know,
my love.
A kiss awaits tonight.

In the darkness between the flowers,
my love,
in the shadows of the moon.

Your lips will tear the pretense,

like the curtain tomorrow afternoon.

And so the glow of approaching torches
makes the darkness dance like black flames,
ever faster to the music 

of every heart that refuses to be saved.

I prayed this could be different,
that my death could save you too,
but your choices are your own.
Now my friend, do what you came to do.

What If They Do Not Believe In Me or Even Listen To Me?

Have you ever felt like you're not being taken seriously when you talk or that they're not really listening to you?  Sometimes it's so subtle that it's difficult to pinpoint.  I have felt this often.  I wonder, is it because I'm a woman, because I'm perceived as young?  Maybe it's because I'm an introvert and quiet.  It could even be my small stature.  It's difficult to know.  When I've shared this with others, a few completely understand but many will look at me in a confused way and question whether this is actually happening.  Then I begin to wonder whether it's just my own insecurity.

I read a quote in the bible recently that resonated with me.  Moses asked, "But what if they do not believe me or even listen to me?  What if they say, God has not appeared to you!'?"

In the second book of the bible, called Exodus, the Hebrew people are slaves in Egypt.  God hears their cry and tells Moses that he will be the one to save his people.  Moses, even though he was in front of a bush on fire that was not burning, and hearing a voice come from that bush, pushed back.  Him?  Save people enslaved to Pharaoh, the most powerful person in the land?  Him who ran away at the first sign of danger?  Him, who had been adopted by Pharaoh's daughter and had actually lived in luxury while his own race lived as slaves?

His first words upon being called by this voice were, "Here I am," but once he found out what this voice wanted, he clearly doubted what was being asked of him.  He wondered if people would believe him and would question his qualifications.  I wonder, as someone who was adopted, whether he had ever truly fit into the royal family and if he was treated as an equal.  He must have felt like an outsider both in the Egyptian household in which he was raised and to his birth family and race, to whose experiences and struggle he would not have been able to relate.

We all hold doubt and question our own talents and wonder if we're good enough.  But there are other times when we're put into positions of having to defend our own gifts.  There are times when I am interrupted in conversations, when my thoughts and ideas are dismissed, and when I'm not given the space to share my opinion.  I usually end up frustrated and feeling unheard and unvalued.

When I was a minister in Saskatchewan, the conference had a policy called, "Holy Manners."  These were lifted up at meetings and gatherings.  I have included them below.  They are a list of gentle reminders as to how we are to be with one another.  Sometimes it's these gentle reminders that help make us aware of how we relate with other people, no matter their age, race, gender, experience, etc.

When you gather with others, do you feel heard and valued?  Do you feel you were given the space to share your thoughts and opinions?  Do you feel you are listening to others and giving them space and respect for differing opinions.  How we relate to one another can make all the difference in how people are welcomed and included and how they experience compassion and love in the world.  As a person who follows Christ, this is very important to me.  Jesus always welcomed the outsider and ate at table with those that others excluded.  Loving our neighbour is not easy.  Loving the stranger can be even more difficult, but we are called to journey with each other and with the Spirit as we work towards bringing God's kingdom to earth.  May it be so.

Holy Manners

Preamble

Our holy manners create an environment where we are freed and empowered

To take risks

To think creatively

To be fully ourselves

knowing that we are valued, loved and upheld in community.

Statement of Holy Manners

     We commit ourselves and will hold each other accountable to:

1. Keep God at the centre of everything we do;

2. Respect the worth of each individual; 

3. Affirm people's right to hold and express differing opinions, assume best intentions, listen carefully to each other, without interrupting;

4. Strive for equal opportunity and encouragement of participation of all;

5. Affirm the wisdom of silence, pausing from time to time to ponder what others have said and to discern the Spirit's movement;

6. Seek to understand what others are saying;

7. Be open to new ideas;

8. Respect the confidentiality of individual members and their stories; 

9. Uphold and honour decisions that have been made;

10.  Keep life in perspective by preserving a sense of humour; and 

11.  Hold one another in prayer.

Why Do We Ask Forgiveness If We Are Already Forgiven?

The second of four sermons picked "out of a hat," suggestions offered by the congregation.  This topic, "Why do we ask forgiveness if we are already forgiven?" was based on two scripture passages: Psalm 25: 1, 6-12, 16-18 and Mark 1:4-12.  It was delivered on July 30, 2017.

There was an incident recently where one of my sons was under a lot of stress and sometimes when this son is under a lot of stress, he gets stubborn and surly, and can be very short tempered and even mean.  He got like this with me recently, and I was very upset and he knew it.  Later, he came and apologized, but he said it grudgingly.  I asked him why he was apologizing if he didn’t really mean it.  He said he just wanted to move past it, smooth the waters, and make me not angry anymore.  I told him that’s not how it works.  Of course, this upset him all over again.  He didn’t really feel he should apologize but he felt I should just accept the apology and move on.  Again, I said, that’s not how it works.

Eventually we talked it through and I did receive a genuine apology and regret for his actions.  Being his mom, I would have forgiven him eventually, even if he hadn’t asked.  He’s my son and I love him unconditionally.  As a mom though, I also needed him to understand that asking forgiveness is more than just about smoothing over the waters, putting an incident into the past, and forgetting about it.  I needed him to learn that to apologize should mean much more.

I learned a few years ago, on a United Church national committee, how political apologies can be.  We were discussing pregnant teenagers who had been secreted away to have their baby, sometimes in church-run centres, and sometimes, manipulated into giving up those babies.  An organization, supporting these women, was now looking for an apology. 

When one apologizes, they are admitting to wrongdoing and this, for an organization or government, probably means paying out lots of money for reparation, which sometimes becomes the main concern between organizations and lawyers.  Although these monetary reparations can be helpful to repair damage, for those receiving the apology, it can be the least important part.  It's more about hearing that there has been a wrong, that there is understanding around the amount of pain and suffering that was created by this wrong, and most significantly, how will things change moving forward.  When my son was mean to me, did he understand what he had done was wrong?  Did he understand the pain and the hurt feelings he had caused?  Most importantly, would this behaviour change in the future or how might he handle his stress in a different way next time?  If all of this is never addressed, the wrongdoing and the pain will occur again, just in different ways, and we will go around in circles, and the wrong and pain will continue into other relationships.

 When the United Church offered their first apology to the First Nations people back in 1986, it was acknowledged with a hope that “the Apology is not symbolic but that these are the words of action and sincerity.”  Another further apology was offered in 1998, specifically apologizing for our role in the residential school system.  The United Church has put a lot of work into its relationship with aboriginal people and there is still a lot of work to be done but the hurt and the suffering have been acknowledged and it is now our responsibility to keep an open mind and listen to those who have been hurt.  It’s up to them as to how we will move forward.  Some day, we hope, they may accept our apology as sincere and genuine because of our actions and our relationship.

The question that I pulled out of the box a couple of weeks ago was, “If we are already forgiven by God, why do we have to ask forgiveness?”  It’s a profound question.  In the Catholic Church, the act of asking forgiveness of God is a sacrament and is usually required before taking other sacraments in church, like communion, marriage, and being anointed before death.  It’s a way of making ourselves clean before God. 

Many Protestants and many Catholics nowadays dismiss the obligation to go before a priest and confess ones sins.  Most see it as another antiquated requirement that has no meaning.  Most dismiss the idea that it is a sin not to go to confession.  Mostly I would agree.  I went to confession as a child and it mostly felt uncomfortable.  It felt like I was making up something to tell the priest and it felt strange that I was automatically forgiven after I said a few “Hail Marys” and an “Our Father.”  It didn’t feel genuine and sincere.

I do believe though that there is value in confession and that this time of confession can be considered a holy moment, or an “outward and visible sign of the divine,” which is how we define a sacrament.  Unburdening oneself by telling another, a priest, a friend, or a counselor, of past regrets, bad choices or decisions made, or one’s harsh treatment of another might be what helps one to move beyond all of it.  It might be the one time when someone listens without judgment, when we can talk to someone impartial.  It might be a relief to hear that you are forgiven and that God loves you, no matter what.

The 25th psalm is attributed to David.  David is one of the heroes in the bible but he made some very bad choices.  Read the second book of Samuel, chapter 11 to hear how he took advantage of a woman and killed her husband.  This psalm is the expression of one who is looking for forgiveness and assurance that God is still by his or her side.  Remember that psalms are like poems that put into words what is deep in one’s soul.  Sometimes we cry out for mercy, sometimes we cry for justice or maybe vengeance, and sometimes we thank God and cry out with joy. 

I can imagine David in this psalm, just after he is called out for his misbehaviour, his sin.  David reminds God of God’s steadfast love, he asks God not to remember the sins of his youth, and he asks God to pardon his guilt.  The 18th verse reads, “Relieve the troubles of my heart, and bring me out of my distress.  Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins.”  I can imagine David confessing, opening his heart, his mind, and his soul to the universe, to the divine, and, even if he doesn’t get an answer, this act of confession bringing relief and release.  But is that the only reason to confess, to make one’s self feel better?

The gospel story from Mark is usually heard on the Sunday we celebrate Jesus’ baptism, typically the second Sunday of January.  In this story, we read of John the Baptist “proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. And people from the whole Judean countryside and all the people of Jerusalem were going out to him, and were baptized by him in the river Jordan, confessing their sins.” (Mark 1:4-5)

After confessing their sins, John baptizes them to symbolize their new life.  Their old selves are washed clean of past hurts, regrets, wrongs, and they are being put back into the world, forgiven and ready to turn around - which is what it means to repent - to turn around, to transform, to turn from old ways and old ways of being.  Think of the significance of this for Jesus.  The gospels tell us he was about 30 years old when he began his ministry, when he came to the River Jordan to be baptized by John.  He had lived a very full life already, possibly with some regrets, possibly carrying some guilt.  We are told he was fully divine as well as fully human.  We are told he was a follower of John for a time.  Maybe this moment was one of transformation for him, a moment so significant that the heavens opened up, a dove descended and he heard a voice proclaiming, “This is my beloved with whom I am well-pleased.”  Can you imagine the power of those words after confessing and being made clean, ready to begin a new life.  Maybe this marked the moment that Jesus turned from his prior life and into a new one, one of teaching, healing, and forgiving.

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            How does our own confession of sins change us?  How do we repent, turn from our old lives into something new?

            I’m listening to and reading a lot from Pete Rollins, a philosopher from Ireland.  I mentioned some of his thoughts around eternal life in the "Vampire & Saints" post .  In reading from his most recent book, “The Divine Magician,” I read some of his thoughts on forgiveness.  Rollins writes that, “Forgiveness means wiping something out.  In contrast to the religious reading of forgiveness as a payment of some debt, forgiveness actually refers to the clearing of the slate: a removal of debt.  To forgive a debt does not mean that the debt is paid back, but rather that it is rendered void."

            When we confess our sins, when we seek forgiveness, it’s not about whether we deserve forgiveness.  We are not asking what we can do before we can be forgiven.  We are not seeking to make a payment, to clear some debt that we owe.  To be forgiven is to have the slate cleaned.  To be forgiven is to start anew.  To be forgiven is a gift, free of obligations.  Forgiveness should never come with conditions. 

Most of us have heard the oft-quoted words from Jesus that we do not forgive seven times, but seventy-seven times, which for many of us would be unreasonable.  Sometimes it’s our anger and pride that get in the way, but sometimes it’s our own self-worth that tells us that enough is enough.  But this isn’t the case with God.  We are always forgiven, seven times, seventy-seven times, seven million times.  And we may not deserve it, but that’s not why we’re forgiven.  It’s because we are loved and loved unconditionally.  It’s because we are children of God, unique creations of the Creator, each beloved and with whom God is well-pleased. 

            We ask forgiveness for our own sake and for the sake of others.  We ask forgiveness to unburden ourselves, to speak our truth, to find assurance that we are still loved and still worthy of love.  Confessing also helps us to move on to repentance, to turn over a new leaf and to start anew.  We ask forgiveness so that others feel heard and understood, to acknowledge their pain and their hurt, and to offer them hope that our actions will change and show the sincerity in our words.

            This is why we ask forgiveness.  And we ask forgiveness of God, because, like a loving parent, we know that we will always be granted this forgiveness.  We know that we are loved, no matter our past mistakes or bad choices.  God’s Spirit is always with us, encouraging us to love and serve our neighbour, comforting us in times of pain and distress, pushing us to confess and tell our story, and gently reminding us that we are loved always and unconditionally.  Thanks be to God.  Amen.

Those "Other" Churches

On Thursday, I met with three people over breakfast.  They were all from churches in Oakville but all different denominations: Christian Reformed Church (CRC), Pentecostal, and Anglican.  Myself and one other were from the United Church.  We were all there as people who work with children, youth, and families in our churches.

It's not often that I have a chance to rub shoulders with people from other denominations.  Mostly, we tend to stick to our own "kind."  The unfortunate fact is that most churches view other churches with suspicion.  When it comes to other churches within one denomination, there is some cooperation, but there is also competitiveness, mostly around the numbers of people, numbers of children, financial successes, etc.  When it comes to working with other denominations (other Christian churches that are not part of the United Church), we tend to get suspicious about their theology and structure.  The minister's qualifications are questioned, political suspicions are aroused around a denomination being conservative, liberal, or progressive, and theology is highly under suspicion when it comes to how the bible is read, how the death of Jesus is interpreted, how we evangelize and do mission, and how we talk about God.

All this being said, when I sat around that table, with people from denominations very different from my own, it felt like we all had the same common goals.  In talking about our children's programs, we all wanted to provide a safe and inclusive space for children where they can feel loved and accepted, teach them about Jesus and how we are the hands and feet of Christ to the world, and to let them know that God loves them no matter what.  When it comes right down to it, I think this is what all Christians want to do.

When we work together, we can learn from one another.  The United Church tends to be a church that focuses on the mind.  We want our ministers to have MDivs, we want strong preaching and bible studies, and we tend to be highly attuned to words, interpretation, exegesis, and hermeneutics.  I think this might be true of many mainline denominations (Presbyterian, Methodist, etc.)  I think we also tend to focus on the life of Jesus, rather than his death and resurrection.

Other churches that are more pentecostal or evangelical, tend to focus on the heart. Rituals, music, and small groups tend to be inspirational and moving.  There is less focus what is being said than in how it is said, how it can move you and inspire you.  These churches focus on how the death of Jesus affects people and the power behind his sacrifice on the cross.

These are generalizations, of course, but I have heard people who attend mainline denominations criticize it's traditionalist worship and hymns and preaching that seemed designed to instil boredom and from others attending more pentecostal churches that the preaching doesn't go deep enough or they are only hearing concepts that focus on the individual's own salvation and Jesus' death rather than his ministry.

How might we be stronger and inspire more people if we were focusing on both the mind and the heart?  What change might occur if there were more sharing and more cooperation between denominations?

Jesus said, "Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all." (Mark 10:15) Maybe we need to start listening to those people who work with our children.  How might the church look if we paid more attention to our young people and those who work with them?  In my own experience in the United Church, it's the children's workers who are the first to go when finances get tight, and the last to be heard when making changes and visioning a future.

I am looking forward to doing more work with people from other churches in Oakville.  I have a vision of more partnership between churches, more cooperation in our programs, more sharing in what we do.  Maybe, in our work with the children of Oakville, we can bring a little of the kingdom of God to the here and now.

Deborah Who?

In my bible reading this week, I came across a verse that stuck with me throughout the day.  From the 35th chapter of Genesis, verse 8: And that's when Rebekah's nurse, Deborah, died.  She was buried just below Bethel under the oak tree.  It was named Allon-Bacuth (Weeping Oak).

This verse is set in a chapter about the journey of Jacob, one of Rebekah's twin sons.  Before this, Deborah had not been mentioned and she is never mentioned again.  It felt like a verse that was put into the story later.  Someone felt this death was important and not to be missed.  But why?  Who was she? Why is there so little about her?

There is some speculation that this is the same person in chapter 24 of Genesis, when Rebekah is chosen as a bride for Isaac and leaves home "with her nurse."  Just a verse later it describes Rebecca with her "young maids," so whether this was Rebekah's childhood nurse or someone chosen to nurse Rebekah's children, I don't know.

When reading about the women of the bible, one does a lot of speculating and guessing.  Most of the time the women are left out of the narrative, forgotten, and sometimes even unnamed.  The fact that this nurse was named and had her death and burial recorded must mean she was very important or at least seen as valuable to Jacob and his family.  In many cultures, children valued their nurses more than their mothers, as nurses were the ones who nurtured and cared for the children of women with some status.  In some ways, women of import were seen as above the role of caregiver of their children.  Thus we know exactly when Isaac, Jacob’s father, died and how old he was and where they buried him, but we have no idea when Jacob’s mother, Rebecca, died or whether her family grieved her loss.

Rosie the Riveter is an image used to promote feminism; it's an image of a woman I didn't even now had a name until recently.  Did you know she is based on an actual person?  It wasn't until recently that she was identified. Well, actually misidentified and then identified.  Read the story here.

This Halloween, a young person from church decided she wanted to dress up as Rosie the Riveter for Halloween.  I thought it was wonderful to choose such a strong female image.  Unfortunately, at a weekend Halloween event, her peers had no idea who she was, which was disappointing and discouraging to this young person.  Luckily, she has a mom who encouraged her daughter to continue wearing the costume for other Halloween events.  Hopefully, a few more people learned about this iconic figure.

Finding strong, independent female images can be challenging.  Princesses abound in our culture.  The bible is filled with strong, male characters, heroes and villains, kings and shepherds, and women are usually the supporting roles.  Even God is mostly described with male imagery.  It can be difficult to find female characters in the bible to whom we connect.  Rebekah was one strong character, who unfortunately used deceit to promote her favourite son and then disappears from the story.  It's Deborah, the well-loved nurse, who is remembered, but even she is only given one verse in the bible, relating to her death.  It's no wonder that Mary, the mother of Jesus, became such a well loved and even a worshipped figure as there were very few female images from which to choose.

This is probably one of the most difficult aspects of the bible for me.  It was written by men, for men, during a time when women were considered property and had little to no say in their own lives and in the world around them.  Highlighting female characters is thus very important to me.  I hold onto female images of the divine, like the images from Jesus of the mother hen in the gospel of Matthew or the woman who lost and found a coin in Luke's gospel.  There are images of God in Isaiah as a mother who cares for her child or the God who gives birth.  One of my favourite images is from Proverbs, the only female personification of God in the bible.  Wisdom is her name or in Greek, Sophia.  (Notice the title of my blog.)  Asserting these images in a world that is filled with male images of God is important and valuable if we want our young people to experience God as a vast mystery with many images and symbols, not just that of Father.

**If you listen to podcasts, the Liturgists have an excellent episode called, "God as Mother."  It will challenge you on how you name God.