What If They Do Not Believe In Me or Even Listen To Me?

Have you ever felt like you're not being taken seriously when you talk or that they're not really listening to you?  Sometimes it's so subtle that it's difficult to pinpoint.  I have felt this often.  I wonder, is it because I'm a woman, because I'm perceived as young?  Maybe it's because I'm an introvert and quiet.  It could even be my small stature.  It's difficult to know.  When I've shared this with others, a few completely understand but many will look at me in a confused way and question whether this is actually happening.  Then I begin to wonder whether it's just my own insecurity.

I read a quote in the bible recently that resonated with me.  Moses asked, "But what if they do not believe me or even listen to me?  What if they say, God has not appeared to you!'?"

In the second book of the bible, called Exodus, the Hebrew people are slaves in Egypt.  God hears their cry and tells Moses that he will be the one to save his people.  Moses, even though he was in front of a bush on fire that was not burning, and hearing a voice come from that bush, pushed back.  Him?  Save people enslaved to Pharaoh, the most powerful person in the land?  Him who ran away at the first sign of danger?  Him, who had been adopted by Pharaoh's daughter and had actually lived in luxury while his own race lived as slaves?

His first words upon being called by this voice were, "Here I am," but once he found out what this voice wanted, he clearly doubted what was being asked of him.  He wondered if people would believe him and would question his qualifications.  I wonder, as someone who was adopted, whether he had ever truly fit into the royal family and if he was treated as an equal.  He must have felt like an outsider both in the Egyptian household in which he was raised and to his birth family and race, to whose experiences and struggle he would not have been able to relate.

We all hold doubt and question our own talents and wonder if we're good enough.  But there are other times when we're put into positions of having to defend our own gifts.  There are times when I am interrupted in conversations, when my thoughts and ideas are dismissed, and when I'm not given the space to share my opinion.  I usually end up frustrated and feeling unheard and unvalued.

When I was a minister in Saskatchewan, the conference had a policy called, "Holy Manners."  These were lifted up at meetings and gatherings.  I have included them below.  They are a list of gentle reminders as to how we are to be with one another.  Sometimes it's these gentle reminders that help make us aware of how we relate with other people, no matter their age, race, gender, experience, etc.

When you gather with others, do you feel heard and valued?  Do you feel you were given the space to share your thoughts and opinions?  Do you feel you are listening to others and giving them space and respect for differing opinions.  How we relate to one another can make all the difference in how people are welcomed and included and how they experience compassion and love in the world.  As a person who follows Christ, this is very important to me.  Jesus always welcomed the outsider and ate at table with those that others excluded.  Loving our neighbour is not easy.  Loving the stranger can be even more difficult, but we are called to journey with each other and with the Spirit as we work towards bringing God's kingdom to earth.  May it be so.

Holy Manners

Preamble

Our holy manners create an environment where we are freed and empowered

To take risks

To think creatively

To be fully ourselves

knowing that we are valued, loved and upheld in community.

Statement of Holy Manners

     We commit ourselves and will hold each other accountable to:

1. Keep God at the centre of everything we do;

2. Respect the worth of each individual; 

3. Affirm people's right to hold and express differing opinions, assume best intentions, listen carefully to each other, without interrupting;

4. Strive for equal opportunity and encouragement of participation of all;

5. Affirm the wisdom of silence, pausing from time to time to ponder what others have said and to discern the Spirit's movement;

6. Seek to understand what others are saying;

7. Be open to new ideas;

8. Respect the confidentiality of individual members and their stories; 

9. Uphold and honour decisions that have been made;

10.  Keep life in perspective by preserving a sense of humour; and 

11.  Hold one another in prayer.