This sermon was delivered on August 13, 2017
Our culture is changing so much around us. Some would say it’s because of the explosion of technology, the internet, new forms of energy, and virtual reality, to name just a few. Our brains and our culture are struggling to keep up with what it all means for us psychologically, socially, culturally, and ethically. One area of our lives that is changing in all of these ways is sexuality and gender.
Our worldview is vastly changing and we are struggling to keep up with just the terminology. LGBTQ is only one term that is used and even that is becoming outdated. It stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer. Sometimes the letters are different or it includes other letters, but this is the acronym I will use this morning to name all those people who are outside the norm, who fall within a spectrum of sexual preferences and gender identities.
It used to be the thing to say that one experimented in university, sometimes that referred to one’s sexuality. I find these experiments are happening now at a younger age, and what I mean by that is that young people are experimenting with their identity. Young people are more aware of what is possible so they are entering into their teenage years with both eyes open and with wonder. Who do I find attractive? Am I attracted to men or women or both or maybe I’m more attracted to one’s personality? Am I more connected with my own femininity or masculinity? Do I dream about marriage and children or am I more interested in my career?
The possibilities are so varied and numerous that it can get confusing and possibly seem chaotic and even scary for some. The world is changing so quickly around us that some find it difficult to keep up. Many of us were taught from the beginning that men and women marry the opposite sex, have children, boys and girls who also will marry the opposite sex and have children, and so forth. This has always been the norm. Anything outside of this binary system was considered dysfunctional, perverted, sick, and even wrong and sinful.
Because of this mindset, people who live outside this norm have been abused and persecuted for a very long time. Some have been thrown into psychiatric institutions, some have been treated as criminals and thrown into jail, some have been bullied physically, verbally, emotionally, some right up to their death, by someone else’s hand or their own. Because of the stigma attached to being different or outside the norm, people have had to hide their true selves. They have stayed “in the closet,” not revealing their true natures or true expressions of themselves. Because it was so hidden and such a secret, people have grown up not knowing the possibilities and possibly not ever understanding their own sexuality or gender identity and why they have been depressed and unhappy with life.
And I don’t want to make this sound like it’s all behind us now. People are becoming more enlightened, marriage equality is a reality, although un unstable one, and more people can be open about who they are, but, all over the world, including in the US and Canada, people outside this norm are still persecuted and are still hiding their true selves because of the adversity that comes with being open.
We talk about being a welcoming church and an inclusive church, which is wonderful, but these words are still separating us from them. We are welcoming or including them, when in actuality, we are them. We are white and black, Asian and indigenous. We are young and old. We are differently abled. We are Canadian and immigrant. We are straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, queer. We are not actually welcoming and including people so much as we are accepting one another, our uniqueness and differences, our similarities and oneness in Christ.
Affirm United is an organization within the United Church of Canada “working for the full inclusion of people of all sexual orientations and gender identities in the United Church of Canada and in
society.” Affirm United encourages congregations, presbyteries, conferences, educational institutions, and other ministries to publicly declare their commitment to inclusion and justice for all people, in this way becoming an “Affirming Ministry." The following is a quote from their document on "Why Become an Affirming Ministry."
Being an Affirming Ministry is not merely about welcoming gay, lesbian, and transgender people. Words like welcoming or inclusion suggest those on the inside have the power to choose to accept those on the outside. This makes it sound like an act of charity to welcome those who are different or marginalized. However, it is not our place to welcome anyone because church is not a private club and we are not the gatekeepers. As soon as one new person comes through the doors, the community becomes a new community.
Some wonder why a congregation has to go through a process to be recognized as an Affirming Ministry if they already feel they are welcoming and accepting of LGBTQ people. Why go through a process and why declare it? But that’s not the point. The point is that the congregation would become a community that seeks to live more fully into God’s way of welcome, love, and justice for all creation. Here is another quote from that same document:
“Affirming ministries are not gay churches or single-issues communities. They work on a variety of justice issues. They know that the work of healing and justice-making, of being the church, is an ongoing part of who they are, whether they strive to combat racism, or work to make their buildings accessible, as they attend anti-poverty marches or seek to live out the United Church’s apology on residential schools; when they honour children and provide space for addiction support groups. Work for justice on sexuality and gender issues often supports or integrates with other work for justice - anti-racism, economic justice, or environmental justice…To be Affirming is to be on a journey for greater justice and compassion for all the earth.”
We heard scripture from Mark’s gospel about the Syro-Phoenician woman begging for her daughter to be healed but being told to wait, a story with which many struggle as we hear Jesus compare her daughter to a dog, one who must wait in line as the children of Israel are first and he will not throw what he has to the dogs just yet. Jesus is referring to the fact that she is not Jewish or part of his tribe. This woman teaches Jesus about radical inclusivity when she fires back that even the dogs get crumbs from the table.
I heard a pastor from Nashville talk about acceptance of people who are LGBTQ and how there was a time when the church treated those whose sexuality was outside the norm as dogs, only offering crumbs from the table. The church would say, yes, you are loved, yes, you are welcome, but would tell them they weren’t allowed to teach Sunday School, or that they needed to remain celibate in order to attend worship or partake in sacraments, would tell them they needed to suppress that sinful part of them to be accepted by the church and by God. The church would make people outside their norm decide between their love for God and their love for another person.
I heard a pastor from Nashville talk about acceptance of people who are LGBTQ and how there was a time when the church treated those whose sexuality was outside the norm as dogs, only offering crumbs from the table. The church would say, yes, you are loved, yes, you are welcome, but would tell them they weren’t allowed to teach Sunday School, or that they needed to remain celibate in order to attend worship or partake in sacraments, would tell them they needed to suppress that sinful part of them to be accepted by the church and by God. The church would make people outside their norm decide between their love for God and their love for another person.
Yet, through these judgement and harsh words and difficult choices, people who are LGBTQ continued to come to church, continued to be a part of the faith community, even though they were only being offered crumbs, because they were starving for even the little they got. Jesus said, “I am the bread of life; those who come to me shall never hunger,” (John 6:35) but the church withheld that nourishment, withheld the body of Christ from LGBTQ people, who were judged and forced to fit into the church’s little box of what was acceptable and normal. (I heard this story on The Liturgist podcast, episode 20.)
For the past couple of weeks, we have been talking about forgiveness and making mistakes for which we need to repent. The church, in so many ways, has so many apologies to offer to so many people. It comes from having too much power and abusing that power. Many people in the church are having their eyes opened, sometimes by those very people who stuck with the church, through the judgement and abuse. We are blessed to have indigenous people who still want to walk with us and teach us. We are blessed to have so many women, despite sexism that is still very much alive, wanting to become leaders in the church. We are blessed to have young people, who are sometimes ignored and neglected, bringing their passion for Christ out into the world. We are blessed to have people who are outside of the gender identity and sexual identity norm who are helping us to open our eyes and expand our hearts, to share their vision of God’s all-encompassing love with a church who has held such a narrow view of that love and is still holding onto that narrow view in many places and by many people.
I’ve heard many say that they are open to same gender relationships, but how open are people to someone who is transgendered or someone who was in relationship with one gender and then switch to another? Do people understand the many ways in which people express their gender and sexuality? Are many of us still uncomfortable talking about this and does this discomfort look like exclusion or disapproval? And if we are completely accepting, why isn't everyone raising and waving rainbow flags? Why isn't everyone announcing that they are open to all? Why isn't everyone marching and advocating for human rights and justice for all? Maybe we aren’t quite there yet. Maybe we have some work to do.
Unconditional love is not the same as unconditional acceptance. The phrase used by many churches is, “Love the sinner; not the sin,” a phrase used to name LGBTQ people as sinners and their acts of love as sin. Psalm 139 is a beautiful psalm, expressive of God’s deepest love and acceptance of each of us, from even before we are born. I’m going to end with a few verses from this psalm.
O Lord, you have searched me and known me.2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from far away.3 You search out my path and my lying down,
and are acquainted with all my ways.
you discern my thoughts from far away.3 You search out my path and my lying down,
and are acquainted with all my ways.
13 For it was you who formed my inward parts;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Fearfully and wonderfully made are each one us, loved and fully accepted by God, and hopefully, one day, that all-compassing love and full acceptance will be expressed by God’s people for all creation. May it be so and thanks be to God. Amen.
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