Christmas Message

This will be my last post for 2017.  I'll be back in three weeks.  Merry Christmas and may the new year be filled with many blessings.

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Scripture

Luke 1:26-38 (NRSV)

26 In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, 27 to a young woman engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The young woman’s name was Mary. 28 And he came to her and said, “Greetings, favoured one! The Lord is with you.” 29 But she was much perplexed by his words and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. 30 The angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favour with God. 31 And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. 32 He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his ancestor David. 33 He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” 34 Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I have not known a man?” 35 The angel said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; he will be called Son of God. 36 And now, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son; and this is the sixth month for her who was said to be barren. 37 For nothing will be impossible with God.” 38 Then Mary said, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her.

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There is so much in this passage of the angel’s visit to Mary.  I read it at different times and different words and phrases stand out for me.  The angel visit and Mary’s initial response is that she was perplexed and pondered the angel’s greeting.  I sometimes wonder if this is a euphemism for Mary cowering under a table to get away from this divine messenger.  I think about the fact that Mary has not known a man, but will conceive a child and how this would have looked to her family and community.  Near the end of the angel’s message, a small comment is made about Mary’s relative Elizabeth in her sixth month with child.  The angel follows this by saying that “Nothing is impossible with God.”  We are told that Elizabeth was old, so maybe this was the angel’s way of proving to Mary that this was going to happen.  

All these aspects fascinate me, but tonight I want to focus on a different aspect.  Never once does the angel describe this coming child as a baby.  Mary is told she will conceive a son and his name will be Jesus.  From the first, Jesus is described as the Son of the Most High and that he will be great and will be given the throne of David and his kingdom will have no end.  Mary is not being blessed with a baby.  Mary is assuming a responsibility of raising this son, who will change everything.  Even when the angels bring their message to the shepherds, they say that the sign will be a child wrapped in bands of cloth and lying in a manger, but they describe who this is as good news, as a Saviour, the Messiah, and Lord.  That’s a lot of weight on a child just being born.

It’s interesting that now, in our pageants, in our nativities, in our stories and songs, we mostly look at the baby.  We talk about the sleeping baby in a manger, we focus on the weary mother and the trial of giving birth among the animals, we tend to sentimentalize this time of year and talk about the baby and it’s promise to the world, joy to the world, and angels we have heard on high, a midnight clear and a silent night.  It becomes a time of magic, hope, peace, joy, and love.  And all of this is wonderful.  It’s one of the reasons I love this time of year.  

But it’s not all about being merry and good cheer.  Mary and Joseph in one gospel had to flee to Egypt because King Herod felt threatened and wanted to kill their son.  In another gospel, the Roman Empire is taking a census, a way of enforcing taxation, and forcing a family expecting a child to be on the road, which was very dangerous in those times.  This child is being born into a world that needs saving, that needs hope, that needs light in the midst of the darkness.

Many of us are here because we are looking for the same.  We are looking for real hope, for deeper meaning in this season, beyond the holly and the mistletoe, beyond the Christmas trees and gift giving.  For some of us, this is a difficult time because of losses we have experienced, because of anxiety  and depression, because we find difficulty finding the joy which is expected of us.

Richard Rohr wrote that, “The Incarnation was already the redemption, because in Jesus’ birth God was already saying that it was good to be human, and God was on our side.”  In the church, the incarnation is not just Jesus as the Son of God but that Jesus was God.  That God chose to be born as a child, as one of us, we, who are imperfect, who make mistakes, who grumble and are obstinate, and those who struggle to love one another, and ourselves.  God chose to live among us, a people so flawed that we eventually executed our saviour, Jesus.

God is obstinate too and God does not give up on us.  Jesus died on a cross but that was not the end.  Christ is still among us, is still rooting for us, and is born within us every day.  When I look into your eyes, I see the Holy, I see the Sacred, I see Christ, and I hope you see the same in others.  The Incarnation happened then, Redemption happened then, but the Incarnation is also happening today and redemption is happening today, not just back then, but now.  And that is the mystery of Christmas.  May it be so.  Amen.

It's OK To Be Gay! It's OK To Be Lesbian!

The last of four sermons picked "out of a hat," suggestions offered by the congregation.  This topic, "It's OK to be gay; it's OK to be lesbian!" was based on two scripture passage:  Psalm 139:1-14 & Mark 7:24-30.  The topic was suggested by an eight year old.

This sermon was delivered on August 13, 2017

Our culture is changing so much around us.  Some would say it’s because of the explosion of technology, the internet, new forms of energy, and virtual reality, to name just a few.  Our brains and our culture are struggling to keep up with what it all means for us psychologically, socially, culturally, and ethically.  One area of our lives that is changing in all of these ways is sexuality and gender.  

Our worldview is vastly changing and we are struggling to keep up with just the terminology.  LGBTQ is only one term that is used and even that is becoming outdated.  It stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer.  Sometimes the letters are different or it includes other letters, but this is the acronym I will use this morning to name all those people who are outside the norm, who fall within a spectrum of sexual preferences and gender identities.  

It used to be the thing to say that one experimented in university, sometimes that referred to one’s sexuality.  I find these experiments are happening now at a younger age, and what I mean by that is that young people are experimenting with their identity.  Young people are more aware of what is possible so they are entering into their teenage years with both eyes open and with wonder.  Who do I find attractive?  Am I attracted to men or women or both or maybe I’m more attracted to one’s personality?  Am I more connected with my own femininity or masculinity?  Do I dream about marriage and children or am I more interested in my career? 

The possibilities are so varied and numerous that it can get confusing and possibly seem chaotic and even scary for some.  The world is changing so quickly around us that some find it difficult to keep up.  Many of us were taught from the beginning that men and women marry the opposite sex, have children, boys and girls who also will marry the opposite sex and have children, and so forth.  This has always been the norm.  Anything outside of this binary system was considered dysfunctional, perverted, sick, and even wrong and sinful.  

Because of this mindset, people who live outside this norm have been abused and persecuted for a very long time.  Some have been thrown into psychiatric institutions, some have been treated as criminals and thrown into jail, some have been bullied physically, verbally, emotionally, some right up to their death, by someone else’s hand or their own.  Because of the stigma attached to being different or outside the norm, people have had to hide their true selves.  They have stayed “in the closet,” not revealing their true natures or true expressions of themselves.  Because it was so hidden and such a secret, people have grown up not knowing the possibilities and possibly not ever understanding their own sexuality or gender identity and why they have been depressed and unhappy with life.

And I don’t want to make this sound like it’s all behind us now.  People are becoming more enlightened, marriage equality is a reality, although un unstable one, and more people can be open about who they are, but, all over the world, including in the US and Canada, people outside this norm are still persecuted and are still hiding their true selves because of the adversity that comes with being open.

We talk about being a welcoming church and an inclusive church, which is wonderful, but these words are still separating us from them.  We are welcoming or including them, when in actuality, we are them.  We are white and black, Asian and indigenous.  We are young and old.  We are differently abled.  We are Canadian and immigrant.  We are straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, queer.  We are not actually welcoming and including people so much as we are accepting one another, our uniqueness and differences, our similarities and oneness in Christ.  

Affirm United is an organization within the United Church of Canada “working for the full inclusion of people of all sexual orientations and gender identities in the United Church of Canada and in

society.” Affirm United encourages congregations, presbyteries, conferences, educational institutions, and other ministries to publicly declare their commitment to inclusion and justice for all people, in this way becoming an “Affirming Ministry."  The following is a quote from their document on "Why Become an Affirming Ministry."

Being an Affirming Ministry is not merely about welcoming gay, lesbian, and transgender people.  Words like welcoming or inclusion suggest those on the inside have the power to choose to accept those on the outside.  This makes it sound like an act of charity to welcome those who are different or marginalized.  However, it is not our place to welcome anyone because church is not a private club and we are not the gatekeepers.  As soon as one new person comes through the doors, the community becomes a new community.

Some wonder why a congregation has to go through a process to be recognized as an Affirming Ministry if they already feel they are welcoming and accepting of LGBTQ people.  Why go through a process and why declare it?  But that’s not the point.  The point is that the congregation would become a community that seeks to live more fully into God’s way of welcome, love, and justice for all creation.  Here is another quote from that same document:

“Affirming ministries are not gay churches or single-issues communities.  They work on a variety of justice issues.  They know that the work of healing and justice-making, of being the church, is an ongoing part of who they are, whether they strive to combat racism, or work to make their buildings accessible, as they attend anti-poverty marches or seek to live out the United Church’s apology on residential schools; when they honour children and provide space for addiction support groups.  Work for justice on sexuality and gender issues often supports or integrates with other work for justice - anti-racism, economic justice, or environmental justice…To be Affirming is to be on a journey for greater justice and compassion for all the earth.”

We heard scripture from Mark’s gospel about the Syro-Phoenician woman begging for her daughter to be healed but being told to wait, a story with which many struggle as we hear Jesus compare her daughter to a dog, one who must wait in line as the children of Israel are first and he will not throw what he has to the dogs just yet.  Jesus is referring to the fact that she is not Jewish or part of his tribe. This woman teaches Jesus about radical inclusivity when she fires back that even the dogs get crumbs from the table.

I heard a pastor from Nashville talk about acceptance of people who are LGBTQ and how there was a time when the church treated those whose sexuality was outside the norm as dogs, only offering crumbs from the table.  The church would say, yes, you are loved, yes, you are welcome, but would tell them they weren’t allowed to teach Sunday School, or that they needed to remain celibate in order to attend worship or partake in sacraments, would tell them they needed to suppress that sinful part of them to be accepted by the church and by God.  The church would make people outside their norm decide between their love for God and their love for another person.

Yet, through these judgement and harsh words and difficult choices, people who are LGBTQ continued to come to church, continued to be a part of the faith community, even though they were only being offered crumbs, because they were starving for even the little they got.  Jesus said, “I am the bread of life; those who come to me shall never hunger,” (John 6:35) but the church withheld that nourishment, withheld the body of Christ from LGBTQ people, who were judged and forced to fit into the church’s little box of what was acceptable and normal. (I heard this story on The Liturgist podcast, episode 20.)

For the past couple of weeks, we have been talking about forgiveness and making mistakes for which we need to repent.  The church, in so many ways, has so many apologies to offer to so many people.  It comes from having too much power and abusing that power.  Many people in the church are having their eyes opened, sometimes by those very people who stuck with the church, through the judgement and abuse.  We are blessed to have indigenous people who still want to walk with us and teach us.  We are blessed to have so many women, despite sexism that is still very much alive, wanting to become leaders in the church.  We are blessed to have young people, who are sometimes ignored and neglected, bringing their passion for Christ out into the world.  We are blessed to have people who are outside of the gender identity and sexual identity norm who are helping us to open our eyes and expand our hearts, to share their vision of God’s all-encompassing love with a church who has held such a narrow view of that love and is still holding onto that narrow view in many places and by many people.

I’ve heard many say that they are open to same gender relationships, but how open are people to someone who is transgendered or someone who was in relationship with one gender and then switch to another?  Do people understand the many ways in which people express their gender and sexuality?  Are many of us still uncomfortable talking about this and does this discomfort look like exclusion or disapproval?  And if we are completely accepting, why isn't everyone raising and waving rainbow flags?  Why isn't everyone announcing that they are open to all?  Why isn't everyone marching and advocating for human rights and justice for all?  Maybe we aren’t quite there yet.  Maybe we have some work to do.

Unconditional love is not the same as unconditional acceptance.  The phrase used by many churches is, “Love the sinner; not the sin,” a phrase used to name LGBTQ people as sinners and their acts of love as sin.  Psalm 139 is a beautiful psalm, expressive of God’s deepest love and acceptance of each of us, from even before we are born.  I’m going to end with a few verses from this psalm.  

O Lord, you have searched me and known me.² You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from far away.³ You search out my path and my lying down,
    and are acquainted with all my ways.

¹³ For it was you who formed my inward parts;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.¹⁴ I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Fearfully and wonderfully made are each one us, loved and fully accepted by God, and hopefully, one day, that all-compassing love and full acceptance will be expressed by God’s people for all creation.  May it be so and thanks be to God.  Amen.

Losing What I Count On

Music and singing have always been a large part of my identity.  I've been singing all my life, from singing with the radio, singing at school plays, singing for relatives, being a cantor in the church where I grew up, singing in choirs and bands, and just singing with friends.  Music touches my soul and singing is a way of expressing my soul.  I've been very lucky because singing has always come easily to me and people have always enjoyed listening.  Until recently, my singing voice was the one thing in my life I could always count on.

Slowly, over the past year or more, I've developed a tremor in my singing voice that prevents me from singing higher notes.  It started out as a rare occurrence and has slowly become more frequent.  It has been very embarrassing for me and I have tried to hide it as much as possible.  For a few years, I have been working on my voice with a teacher, and she and I have been working on this tremor for quite a while now without a lot of success.  As I continue to sing and continue to experience this block, I have become more and more frustrated and afraid, afraid that people would notice and afraid that this would be a permanent change in my voice that would eventually prevent me from singing altogether.

When one loses control over something in which they had held complete confidence, it can feel like the world is falling apart.  This can happen with many transitions in life, whether they be times of celebration or sorrow: the birth of a baby, a move, losing or changing a job, loss of a loved one, etc.  Moving from a place of certainly to uncertainty is a time of great stress for many.  

The church I serve has been doing a lot of talking recently about their future and how they might adapt to the changing world surrounding them.  For many, this is a scary time.  Their faith community is one of security and stability, a place where they can go for comfort and support.  When changes happen, this secure place can become one of uncertainty and disruption.  

A change in belief systems can have the same effect.  For some, their faith, their belief systems, are a rock under their feet, sturdy, unchanging, and unshifting.  So when those beliefs are threatened, the rock become a fortress of protection.  And when a crisis in life causes one to question those beliefs or doubt what has always been true, the underlying rock becomes quicksand, shifting, changing, and possibly trying to swallow up and choke that faith until it disappears.  For many, their faith is part of their identity, a part of their lives, the one thing on which they can count and rely, so this can be time of trauma, embarrassment, frustration, and fear.

One thing I have learned over and over again is that I can't live in the past.  This applies to the changes in my voice as well.  I can't go back to how my voice was before.  I have learned a lot through my lessons about my voice and about singing and my voice is growing and changing because of it.  I've also learned that I need to let go.  Because I am afraid of embarrassment and because I am feeling afraid that this change in my voice is permanent, I have approached my singing with trepidation and have been afraid to express my soul in my singing.  

I have to move forward.  I have to take what I have learned and apply it with confidence.  I need to reach deep into that place within that loves to sing, and try to move past the embarrassment and fear.  "Do not be afraid," as we are told over and over again in our scriptures, as we hear during the Christmas season when angels approached Mary and Joseph and the shepherds.   Easier said than done, but we can't live in our past and hold stubbornly to the way we've always done things, let fear keep us from moving forward.  If we can find the determination to more forward, we can allow our experiences to change us, transform us, help us to grow as human beings in relationship with others and with the Holy.  This might mean the ground beneath our feet feels a little shaky at times, but instead of an unchanging rock, we'll have layers beneath us that help root us and ground us and perhaps make us stronger in times of uncertainty and crisis.  

The loss of my singing voice still scares me.  It is a large part of who I am, but it's not all of who I am.  My voice is used for much more than singing.  I use it for preaching, for storytelling, for offering kind words, for laughing, and for conversations.  These are the many layers of my voice, and although my singing feels awfully shaky right now, these other layers will help keep my strong.

Being open to change, being open to new ideas, and being open to differences, keeps my faith growing and keeps it from being fixed and even a bit shaky.  It's ever-changing, ever-growing, and ever-evolving with my own life journey and with those around me.  May it always be so.  Amen.

Judas: Evil or a Fulfillment of Scripture

The third of four sermons picked "out of a hat," suggestions offered by the congregation.  This topic, "Judas - Was he evil or fulfilling scripture?" was based on scripture passages from the 14th chapter of the gospel of Mark, verses 1-2, 10-11, 17-21, 32a, and 43b-50.  It was delivered on August 6, 2017

Before you read this, you might want to watch a clip from Jesus Christ Superstar, an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical based on the life and death of Jesus. This clip show Judas, after Jesus is arrested, after Judas has betrayed Jesus to the authorities.  https://youtu.be/kM-gnLRLPdw

“My mind is in darkness,” ssys Judas (in the movie clip).  “My God, I am sick.  I’ve been used.  I’ll never know why you chose me for your crime.” 

Judas: A tragic figure or an evil one? An enigma or simply following his destiny?  Some dismiss him, while others see him as a mystery to solve.  How Judas is portrayed sometimes depends on your theology of God and Jesus.  If you are someone who believes that Jesus was put on this earth to die on a cross, in forgiveness of our sins, then you will see the events leading up to his death as preordained, as willed by God.  If you are someone who believes Jesus was put to death because of his actions, not by God but by Rome, you might see the events leading to his death as the decisions and actions of a broken people, people who made bad choices.  

Why this fascination with Judas?  Why not Peter, who, after the arrest of Jesus,  denied him, pretending he didn’t know him.  What about the other disciples who abandoned Jesus, who hid while Jesus was condemned and then crucified?  Aren’t they all culpable in some way of betraying their friend, this man they had followed for three years, who had all been part of an intimate group, who lived together on the road, followers of Jesus who ate with him, walked with him, questioned him, and imitated him.  Aren’t they all guilty of betraying their friend?

The gospels barely even mention Judas throughout their narratives.  When he is first introduced, he is labeled as the one who would betray Jesus, but we don’t hear much about him again until their final trip to Jerusalem.  At that time, the Jewish authorities are looking for a way to arrest Jesus without inciting the crowd.  They need an out-of-the-way place, where they can arrest him in secret and Judas provides them with the information they need.  We also know Judas was at the Last Supper and that Jesus foretold his betrayal.  We know it was Judas who brought the authorities to the garden and pointed him out to the soldiers by kissing Jesus.  There are only vague suggestions of his motive.

Why would someone betray Jesus?  Why would Judas, who was supposedly a friend of Jesus, part of this inner circle of twelve, turn in Jesus to the authorities?  Did Judas know that Jesus was the Son of God?  Did he know he was betraying the Messiah, the one who would save them all?  Was he fulfilling some destiny; was he only a pawn is this story?  Some have called him guilty, as a greedy carrier of the purse, in it for the 30 pieces of silver.  Others have suggested that he was only following his destiny, what God had called him to do, in order to fulfill God’s plan, obeying God, or, some would say, obeying Satan.

Some gospel verses state that his actions fulfilled scripture.  For ages, Christians have professed that the Hebrew scriptures foretold future events, specifically around Jesus and his life, but in some ways, saying the Hebrew Scriptures are predictions of the future, dismisses it as a text in and of itself, a text that is studied and revered in Judaism.  I read somewhere that the meaning of scripture being fulfilled is not that a foreseen future event has taken place, but that an earlier statement has been recognized to have a fuller and deeper meaning in light of later events.

As you are hearing, I don’t have many answers, only questions.  I can only theorize, guess, and wonder at this story and the part Judas played in it.  But again, why does he fascinate us?  What is it about his role in the death of Jesus that makes us demonize him or sympathize with him?  

Usually it’s the other eleven disciples with whom we connect more willingly.  They are us; we are them.  We can put ourselves in their shoes as we talk about our own journey of following Jesus, the mistakes we make, our arrogance, our ignorance, our daily struggles of following Jesus.  Peter is usually the one to whom we refer the most.  He seems to be the one who had a unique and close relationship with Jesus, but one of the reasons I like the movie, Jesus Christ Superstar, is because we see a special relationship between Jesus and Judas.  You can tell throughout the movie that Jesus loves Judas and that Judas loves Jesus but that they are ideologically different and butt heads throughout the movie.  Judas struggles to understand Jesus, his words, his actions, and his motives, as we, the viewers, also struggle to understand. 

Judas gives us a different perspective.  You see, this was a dangerous time for the Jewish people.  Their land was occupied by the Romans.  There had been rebellions in the past.  Rome had put down those rebellions, with brutal violence and crucified many for their treason against Rome.  John the Baptist had been recently beheaded for his words against Herod.  The Jewish authorities were being very careful to keep things quiet, to keep the Romans happy.  Jesus was stirring things up again.  He was giving people hope of a new world, a new kingdom.  Thousands were following and listening to him.  Coming into Jerusalem for the Passover event saw him being treated like a king with people waving palm branches and shouting Hosanna, save us.  What if Judas thought he was doing the right thing?  What if Judas thought he was protecting the people, keeping them safe from the violence of Rome?  Maybe he even thought he was protecting Jesus and his friends.

In Matthew’s gospel, Judas, after hearing that his friend was condemned to death, immediately feels regret and remorse.  Maybe he didn’t understand the ultimate consequences of his actions?  After all, Jesus had not incited violence.  How could them convict him?  Maybe Judas thought Jesus would be imprisoned instead.  Whatever he thought, he was wrong.  Judas threw the 30 pieces of silver back and he later killed himself because he couldn’t live with what he had done.

Last week we talked about forgiveness and, in a way, this week we take one step back to talk about those choices we make for which we ask forgiveness.  Are we curious about Judas because we wonder if we are like him?  Some of us can say that we have betrayed a friend.  Some of us, because of our actions, have caused someone to be accused.  Some of us are living with choices that we regret and decisions we would like to take back.  Some of us have acted with the best of intentions, only to have things fall apart around us.

I don’t believe in evil people.  I know there is evil in this world and I know people create much of this evil, but I don’t believe there are evil people.  I sympathize with Judas.  He let down his friends, he let down his rabbi, Jesus, and he let down himself.  Like many tragic figures in stories, he is remembered for his mistakes and for his flaws.  

Maybe if Judas had repented, had apologized, begged for forgiveness, and then changed his life, maybe become an apostle, evangelizing and spreading the good news of Jesus, he’d be remembered differently.  After all, Peter denied Jesus, turned his back on his friend and teacher, but is remembered today as the rock of the church.  Peter stuck around to have breakfast on the beach with the resurrected Jesus, was able to confront his mistakes, move past them, and spread the gospel.  Who’s to say Judas couldn’t have also done this.

These are only my reflections.  There are many different viewpoints and I’m sure there are many theological discourses on Judas, but I chose today to share with you my thoughts and my own wonderings.  I invite you to continue the conversation.  This story is a part of our bible and a part of our faith story but it is also a very human story, a story of struggle and hardship, a story of disappointment and shame.  

I don’t believe any person is evil.  I believe we are all children of God and filled with God’s Spirit.  We all make mistakes, we all have regrets, and we all live with those but hopefully let our pasts transform our current lives as we strive to bring God’s kingdom here on earth.  May it be so.  Amen.

The Kiss by Joe Niemand - https://youtu.be/k88Y8VGs7dY

Meet me in the garden,
my love.
Meet me there at midnight.

At the place only we know,
my love.
A kiss awaits tonight.

In the darkness between the flowers,
my love,
in the shadows of the moon.

Your lips will tear the pretense,

like the curtain tomorrow afternoon.

And so the glow of approaching torches
makes the darkness dance like black flames,
ever faster to the music 

of every heart that refuses to be saved.

I prayed this could be different,
that my death could save you too,
but your choices are your own.
Now my friend, do what you came to do.

What If They Do Not Believe In Me or Even Listen To Me?

Have you ever felt like you're not being taken seriously when you talk or that they're not really listening to you?  Sometimes it's so subtle that it's difficult to pinpoint.  I have felt this often.  I wonder, is it because I'm a woman, because I'm perceived as young?  Maybe it's because I'm an introvert and quiet.  It could even be my small stature.  It's difficult to know.  When I've shared this with others, a few completely understand but many will look at me in a confused way and question whether this is actually happening.  Then I begin to wonder whether it's just my own insecurity.

I read a quote in the bible recently that resonated with me.  Moses asked, "But what if they do not believe me or even listen to me?  What if they say, God has not appeared to you!'?"

In the second book of the bible, called Exodus, the Hebrew people are slaves in Egypt.  God hears their cry and tells Moses that he will be the one to save his people.  Moses, even though he was in front of a bush on fire that was not burning, and hearing a voice come from that bush, pushed back.  Him?  Save people enslaved to Pharaoh, the most powerful person in the land?  Him who ran away at the first sign of danger?  Him, who had been adopted by Pharaoh's daughter and had actually lived in luxury while his own race lived as slaves?

His first words upon being called by this voice were, "Here I am," but once he found out what this voice wanted, he clearly doubted what was being asked of him.  He wondered if people would believe him and would question his qualifications.  I wonder, as someone who was adopted, whether he had ever truly fit into the royal family and if he was treated as an equal.  He must have felt like an outsider both in the Egyptian household in which he was raised and to his birth family and race, to whose experiences and struggle he would not have been able to relate.

We all hold doubt and question our own talents and wonder if we're good enough.  But there are other times when we're put into positions of having to defend our own gifts.  There are times when I am interrupted in conversations, when my thoughts and ideas are dismissed, and when I'm not given the space to share my opinion.  I usually end up frustrated and feeling unheard and unvalued.

When I was a minister in Saskatchewan, the conference had a policy called, "Holy Manners."  These were lifted up at meetings and gatherings.  I have included them below.  They are a list of gentle reminders as to how we are to be with one another.  Sometimes it's these gentle reminders that help make us aware of how we relate with other people, no matter their age, race, gender, experience, etc.

When you gather with others, do you feel heard and valued?  Do you feel you were given the space to share your thoughts and opinions?  Do you feel you are listening to others and giving them space and respect for differing opinions.  How we relate to one another can make all the difference in how people are welcomed and included and how they experience compassion and love in the world.  As a person who follows Christ, this is very important to me.  Jesus always welcomed the outsider and ate at table with those that others excluded.  Loving our neighbour is not easy.  Loving the stranger can be even more difficult, but we are called to journey with each other and with the Spirit as we work towards bringing God's kingdom to earth.  May it be so.

Holy Manners

Preamble

Our holy manners create an environment where we are freed and empowered

To take risks

To think creatively

To be fully ourselves

knowing that we are valued, loved and upheld in community.

Statement of Holy Manners

     We commit ourselves and will hold each other accountable to:

1. Keep God at the centre of everything we do;

2. Respect the worth of each individual; 

3. Affirm people's right to hold and express differing opinions, assume best intentions, listen carefully to each other, without interrupting;

4. Strive for equal opportunity and encouragement of participation of all;

5. Affirm the wisdom of silence, pausing from time to time to ponder what others have said and to discern the Spirit's movement;

6. Seek to understand what others are saying;

7. Be open to new ideas;

8. Respect the confidentiality of individual members and their stories; 

9. Uphold and honour decisions that have been made;

10.  Keep life in perspective by preserving a sense of humour; and 

11.  Hold one another in prayer.

Why Do We Ask Forgiveness If We Are Already Forgiven?

The second of four sermons picked "out of a hat," suggestions offered by the congregation.  This topic, "Why do we ask forgiveness if we are already forgiven?" was based on two scripture passages: Psalm 25: 1, 6-12, 16-18 and Mark 1:4-12.  It was delivered on July 30, 2017.

There was an incident recently where one of my sons was under a lot of stress and sometimes when this son is under a lot of stress, he gets stubborn and surly, and can be very short tempered and even mean.  He got like this with me recently, and I was very upset and he knew it.  Later, he came and apologized, but he said it grudgingly.  I asked him why he was apologizing if he didn’t really mean it.  He said he just wanted to move past it, smooth the waters, and make me not angry anymore.  I told him that’s not how it works.  Of course, this upset him all over again.  He didn’t really feel he should apologize but he felt I should just accept the apology and move on.  Again, I said, that’s not how it works.

Eventually we talked it through and I did receive a genuine apology and regret for his actions.  Being his mom, I would have forgiven him eventually, even if he hadn’t asked.  He’s my son and I love him unconditionally.  As a mom though, I also needed him to understand that asking forgiveness is more than just about smoothing over the waters, putting an incident into the past, and forgetting about it.  I needed him to learn that to apologize should mean much more.

I learned a few years ago, on a United Church national committee, how political apologies can be.  We were discussing pregnant teenagers who had been secreted away to have their baby, sometimes in church-run centres, and sometimes, manipulated into giving up those babies.  An organization, supporting these women, was now looking for an apology. 

When one apologizes, they are admitting to wrongdoing and this, for an organization or government, probably means paying out lots of money for reparation, which sometimes becomes the main concern between organizations and lawyers.  Although these monetary reparations can be helpful to repair damage, for those receiving the apology, it can be the least important part.  It's more about hearing that there has been a wrong, that there is understanding around the amount of pain and suffering that was created by this wrong, and most significantly, how will things change moving forward.  When my son was mean to me, did he understand what he had done was wrong?  Did he understand the pain and the hurt feelings he had caused?  Most importantly, would this behaviour change in the future or how might he handle his stress in a different way next time?  If all of this is never addressed, the wrongdoing and the pain will occur again, just in different ways, and we will go around in circles, and the wrong and pain will continue into other relationships.

 When the United Church offered their first apology to the First Nations people back in 1986, it was acknowledged with a hope that “the Apology is not symbolic but that these are the words of action and sincerity.”  Another further apology was offered in 1998, specifically apologizing for our role in the residential school system.  The United Church has put a lot of work into its relationship with aboriginal people and there is still a lot of work to be done but the hurt and the suffering have been acknowledged and it is now our responsibility to keep an open mind and listen to those who have been hurt.  It’s up to them as to how we will move forward.  Some day, we hope, they may accept our apology as sincere and genuine because of our actions and our relationship.

The question that I pulled out of the box a couple of weeks ago was, “If we are already forgiven by God, why do we have to ask forgiveness?”  It’s a profound question.  In the Catholic Church, the act of asking forgiveness of God is a sacrament and is usually required before taking other sacraments in church, like communion, marriage, and being anointed before death.  It’s a way of making ourselves clean before God. 

Many Protestants and many Catholics nowadays dismiss the obligation to go before a priest and confess ones sins.  Most see it as another antiquated requirement that has no meaning.  Most dismiss the idea that it is a sin not to go to confession.  Mostly I would agree.  I went to confession as a child and it mostly felt uncomfortable.  It felt like I was making up something to tell the priest and it felt strange that I was automatically forgiven after I said a few “Hail Marys” and an “Our Father.”  It didn’t feel genuine and sincere.

I do believe though that there is value in confession and that this time of confession can be considered a holy moment, or an “outward and visible sign of the divine,” which is how we define a sacrament.  Unburdening oneself by telling another, a priest, a friend, or a counselor, of past regrets, bad choices or decisions made, or one’s harsh treatment of another might be what helps one to move beyond all of it.  It might be the one time when someone listens without judgment, when we can talk to someone impartial.  It might be a relief to hear that you are forgiven and that God loves you, no matter what.

The 25th psalm is attributed to David.  David is one of the heroes in the bible but he made some very bad choices.  Read the second book of Samuel, chapter 11 to hear how he took advantage of a woman and killed her husband.  This psalm is the expression of one who is looking for forgiveness and assurance that God is still by his or her side.  Remember that psalms are like poems that put into words what is deep in one’s soul.  Sometimes we cry out for mercy, sometimes we cry for justice or maybe vengeance, and sometimes we thank God and cry out with joy. 

I can imagine David in this psalm, just after he is called out for his misbehaviour, his sin.  David reminds God of God’s steadfast love, he asks God not to remember the sins of his youth, and he asks God to pardon his guilt.  The 18th verse reads, “Relieve the troubles of my heart, and bring me out of my distress.  Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins.”  I can imagine David confessing, opening his heart, his mind, and his soul to the universe, to the divine, and, even if he doesn’t get an answer, this act of confession bringing relief and release.  But is that the only reason to confess, to make one’s self feel better?

The gospel story from Mark is usually heard on the Sunday we celebrate Jesus’ baptism, typically the second Sunday of January.  In this story, we read of John the Baptist “proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. And people from the whole Judean countryside and all the people of Jerusalem were going out to him, and were baptized by him in the river Jordan, confessing their sins.” (Mark 1:4-5)

After confessing their sins, John baptizes them to symbolize their new life.  Their old selves are washed clean of past hurts, regrets, wrongs, and they are being put back into the world, forgiven and ready to turn around - which is what it means to repent - to turn around, to transform, to turn from old ways and old ways of being.  Think of the significance of this for Jesus.  The gospels tell us he was about 30 years old when he began his ministry, when he came to the River Jordan to be baptized by John.  He had lived a very full life already, possibly with some regrets, possibly carrying some guilt.  We are told he was fully divine as well as fully human.  We are told he was a follower of John for a time.  Maybe this moment was one of transformation for him, a moment so significant that the heavens opened up, a dove descended and he heard a voice proclaiming, “This is my beloved with whom I am well-pleased.”  Can you imagine the power of those words after confessing and being made clean, ready to begin a new life.  Maybe this marked the moment that Jesus turned from his prior life and into a new one, one of teaching, healing, and forgiving.

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            How does our own confession of sins change us?  How do we repent, turn from our old lives into something new?

            I’m listening to and reading a lot from Pete Rollins, a philosopher from Ireland.  I mentioned some of his thoughts around eternal life in the "Vampire & Saints" post .  In reading from his most recent book, “The Divine Magician,” I read some of his thoughts on forgiveness.  Rollins writes that, “Forgiveness means wiping something out.  In contrast to the religious reading of forgiveness as a payment of some debt, forgiveness actually refers to the clearing of the slate: a removal of debt.  To forgive a debt does not mean that the debt is paid back, but rather that it is rendered void."

            When we confess our sins, when we seek forgiveness, it’s not about whether we deserve forgiveness.  We are not asking what we can do before we can be forgiven.  We are not seeking to make a payment, to clear some debt that we owe.  To be forgiven is to have the slate cleaned.  To be forgiven is to start anew.  To be forgiven is a gift, free of obligations.  Forgiveness should never come with conditions. 

Most of us have heard the oft-quoted words from Jesus that we do not forgive seven times, but seventy-seven times, which for many of us would be unreasonable.  Sometimes it’s our anger and pride that get in the way, but sometimes it’s our own self-worth that tells us that enough is enough.  But this isn’t the case with God.  We are always forgiven, seven times, seventy-seven times, seven million times.  And we may not deserve it, but that’s not why we’re forgiven.  It’s because we are loved and loved unconditionally.  It’s because we are children of God, unique creations of the Creator, each beloved and with whom God is well-pleased. 

            We ask forgiveness for our own sake and for the sake of others.  We ask forgiveness to unburden ourselves, to speak our truth, to find assurance that we are still loved and still worthy of love.  Confessing also helps us to move on to repentance, to turn over a new leaf and to start anew.  We ask forgiveness so that others feel heard and understood, to acknowledge their pain and their hurt, and to offer them hope that our actions will change and show the sincerity in our words.

            This is why we ask forgiveness.  And we ask forgiveness of God, because, like a loving parent, we know that we will always be granted this forgiveness.  We know that we are loved, no matter our past mistakes or bad choices.  God’s Spirit is always with us, encouraging us to love and serve our neighbour, comforting us in times of pain and distress, pushing us to confess and tell our story, and gently reminding us that we are loved always and unconditionally.  Thanks be to God.  Amen.